Why sometimes you might need time to digest your decisions....
This month I am stepping out of my corporate comfort zone!
Often to others the picture of our lives can look perfect or easy from the outside, but that is only because we are not used to sharing and seeing the moments of desperation or vulnerability in our lives. Therefore, I wanted to share the other side of my picture with complete transparency.
I am finally on a 50% part-time schedule with my corporate job. This means that I can and will be devoting more time, energy and focus to my healing journey!
I started to think about going part-time almost a year ago and mentioned the idea to my manager 10 months ago. After being away on a business trip, I realized I want to devote more time to my passion. The plan was to start going part time after I had my sabbatical break in April but then Covid struck and my plans were delayed.
It felt frustrating at the time, but I held on to the one basic rule in all spiritual teachings: ‘Everything happens for a reason”.
Despite not being able to foresee this delay, it did indeed prove to me that there is really a reason for everything. All we need to do is to work on ourselves enough to trust the Divine Guidance when it shows up in our lives.
Here are the two things that I learned from this experience.
1. Making Intuitive Decisions is the Key to Happiness....but sometimes you need time to digest them!
I sometimes make intuitive decisions, that is actions based on what I see or feel only when I connect with my inner voice. Usually my mind says, ‘you are not ready, it is not the right time, how do you know it is right for you” and those voices make me look for logical answers.
On the other hand, when it is an intuitive decision, I feel it in my gut, I see it during my meditations… I have no logical reasoning, but it is a feeling, deep inside - I need to do it. I see them as decisions that are coming through from my soul.
Over the last 3 years, I have made several intuitive decisions that have helped to transform my life. However, most of them have manifested as challenges in my body. When my mind and ego can’t accept my decision, my body responds immediately. Usually I manifest stomach pain or digestive issues (this is linked to accepting my decision), and once even my meniscus disease came back (this was linked to my resistance to walk away) 🙁
During pandemic, I began to understand the concept of digesting. We all have egos! Most of the time our titles, our marriage, our education defines our self-worth and we don’t know who we are without those titles.
For me, my ego was very much tied to my corporate career. I had been in it for more than 15 years since University and I was tied very much to this story of myself. When I spoke to my boss about going part time to focus on my passion, I started to have stomach pain and serious digestive issues. This was my body sending signals to me of what I needed to be looking at. I began to focus on my solar plexus chakra and became busy occupying myself with my travels around the world but when I came back to Luxembourg, the idea of having a half salary triggered my digestive system again and the fears began to creep in, “ you have a mortgage, economy is going bad, your company is one of the best’ .
Because of the pandemic delaying the process of going part-time for me, I was gifted with the opportunity to dig deeper and understand those fake fears and LET GO.
I simply had time to digest my decision at my own pace. This whole period highlighted to me the importance of digesting, and also trusting and believing in the divine guidance.
The more I worked on these fears, the more my healing business grew and the more confident I became.
2. People are there to mirror your fears, try not to blame them.
I have written many newsletters before on this topic, but I want to bring up the subject again because it is so true. During the time that I was hearing the fears of “Good that your part-time is cancelled, your company is growing- it is stupid to make decisions during pandemic, it was too early for you”, I had coffee with a friend of mine. As I was talking about my decision to go part time at work she asked me, “ Aren’t you scared? How can you live with half of your salary?”
I told her that I was OK but she repeatedly asked me (5 times, no less), “How are you not scared, what about mortgage, you should be scared, how not , how not , how not?” . In moments like these it would be easy to blame the other questioning us, so say that they don’t understand us or allow their projected fears to take over us but instead I recognized that there was some work for me still to do.
So, I went back home and journaled around what fears are still left inside of me, why am I starting to hear these comments now?
There is basic Universal law which states that “Like attracts like”, so fear resonates with fear, and love resonates with love. After I took the time to dig deeper and digest my decision the comments started to change, from the same people!
It is important to understand and distinguish from the people who consume your energy (energy vampires) from loved ones. I was sharing my struggles only with loved ones and close friends, and I know they want the best for me. One of the comments of fear came from my mum and in the last 3 months she has become one of my biggest supporters! When you share your struggles with energy vampires, they just take you down and down. The best thing in this instance is to define healthy boundaries with them (let me know if you want to learn more about energy vampires, I can share a bit more on another newsletter)
Finally, the world is changing at a high speed. The ways we work, communicate, ask for justice…all are in flux and changing drastically this year. Change is everywhere, and in everyone’s life. The transformations I have witnessed in my private sessions were so fast during last 6 months, faster than ever! I hope this newsletter helps you to learn to digest your own intuitive decisions for change with more ease and grace.😀