Handling fears during these strange times
Greetings from Luxembourg! I am happy to tell you that I am safely back home!
Last week, I was not able to share a newsletter; my only focus was to get back home before the country locked down.
I was in Bali just 10 days ago. We were discussing the options; to return or explore to stay in Bali if we faced lock down. However we decided to book our flights back home and just 1 day after our booking, Bali announced the coming shut down and flight tickets sky rocketed…from 550 EUR to 2,750 EUR! We were lucky to take the last THY flight to IST and then on to LUX… It was a weird feeling, we had to stay at home quarantined there as well, it was when I realized that the best place to face a home quarantine is simply your own home.
I always thought about the idea of a lock down in a holiday place, with nice weather and a garden it would be cooler than staying in my small, 1 bedroom apt in Luxembourg. When I faced facts, I realized that it was scarier to lock down in a foreign country for me. The local people are shutting down the places for tourists, you have no idea where to shop, and in the small shops you do manage to find, they ask you one simple question; ‘Why are you not in your country?’ and you have no legitimate answer rather than I am a stupid tourist and I am so sorry you have to work because of me 😬
Now I am back home, in quarantine for 14 days, I’ve already spent the first week when you read this newsletter and I am happy to be back 🙂 after the first 5 days, I managed to get a good, balanced home stay with small activities.
In my last newsletter, I mentioned that I would write about my Reflexology sessions, however it is not possible to ignore what is happening around us now and this topic can wait for a bit…
We are going through a very difficult time, there is tons of information online about how to stay positive and see how this situation is helping the environment. I also agree the importance of being positive, however, the last 2 weeks I faced that it was more difficult to ground myself more than ever.
When I was in Bali, the last day of my healing workshop, my body collapsed. It was 17 days of deep healing, in the end it was too much to handle, the shifts were real and my body needed some time to absorb. I always talk about divine time in my sessions with my clients, sometimes the sessions go so deep, our body needs to adopt. The time that we feel and divine time is different, sometimes your soul goes on a deep healing but your physical body needs to adopt. Therefore, instead of panicking you just see a physical reaction as cleansing and be grateful that you are able to clean inside out.
There were some times in my healing journey when the healing was so deep, my body goes into full cleansing mode. I either got sick, or vomit or burn up with fever. As it has happened before I was expecting a similar reaction and this time, it hit me with fever. I had a deep session on shame, faced with a deep trauma that I buried so deep and my body reacted with fever. The only issue this time, I was not at home, I was in Bali, trying to come back home where they don’t let you travel with fever and the entire world already went crazy with corona 😬
So there I was, in a home quarantine in Bali, trying to tell my body to calm down and stop cleansing this time. To be honest, trying to stay positive did not work, and no matter what I did I couldn’t stay positive. My mind was questioning if it was my healing journey or if I had caught Coronavirus... The more I feared about the virus the more my fever went up… I tried affirmations, clearing, prayer, meditation… nope… the fever was there and I was scared. Therefore, I decided to stop trying to force myself to be in a positive mindset and wanted to explore going deep with fear and facing it. In my sessions, this is what we do, we do not ignore fear, we face it to release it, so I wanted to try same approach.
The reason I wanted to share this approach is actually due to personal messages I got from my clients during this time. “Gul, I can’t concentrate, I am really scared, I know you would say do meditation and stay calm but I can’t so what can I do?”
If you have difficulties in staying calm or the fear of Corona is within you all the time, if you find it harder to stay positive, let me tell you one simple thing: You are not alone. Most people are scared, most people are in heavy energy and we are all looking for a way out. In my experience, the thing that helped me to get back to a calmer mindset was to face the fear.
I just wrote about the options, what could happen the worst, in all the possible options… What could happen the worst… Below you can see a picture of my journal (sorry my handwriting is a mess and I wanted to add here the real picture).
I had three options, shut down in Bali or in Istanbul or getting back home to Luxembourg. All the options came to 2 possible outcomes 1- I heal or 2 –I die. Obviously, the worst in all options was me dying due to the virus. Here you need to understand that when I wrote the worst option, my fever was 38.6 degrees, so considering death due to the virus was not so dramatic under those circumstances. Then I wrote about those 2 options, what would happen if I heal and what would happen if I die. Writing about death was a bit scary in the beginning. However, when I finished, I realized that I was not scared anymore… I was ready to face all the options, I took a paracetamol and went to sleep. After 3 days of burning, I woke up and my fever was gone. It has been more than 13 days it did not come back and I am able to share this story now.
When you start facing the biggest fear, it is easier to move forward.
Right now, the whole world is focusing on the death tolls, governments are in shut down. Trying to ignore the fear is not quite possible if you use any kind of social media. We are all scared, some people are scared of getting the virus, some are scared to lose their jobs, some are scared of elderly loved ones or the economy… It is different for everyone but we all are scared of something in this time and we feel it more than ever. I invite you to face your biggest fear to be able to ground yourself again. Yes, it is easier in a session where someone guides you to look at it, however the power of writing is real and it is free.
Journal and face your biggest fear, after you write and write and write (3 pages minimum) you will see that the heavy feeling is not there anymore, your subconscious mind knows how to calm you and show you your highest truth. It helped me to stop worrying for a short time, and it was what I needed to go back to my connection, it can have the same effect on you.
If you are already in a calm peaceful mindset, there is no need to write about what can go wrong. This is for the people who are scared now; maybe you have a fever, or cold flu or even a simple cough. You want to go back to feeling normal; however, you are so scared or lost. As most of us are locked down in the house, you do not have the luxury to go out and give your attention to something else. If this is you, I invite you to CONFRONT your fears to move FORWARD.
Don’t worry, we only face this fear once and just MOVE ON! This is what I did and it brought me back to life, I was able to connect again. Next week, I will go back to my regular newsletters with usual content 😀